Growing up in a society that makes us believe we need to be thinner,more beautiful and always flawless is making it quite hard for every woman to love and truly accept herself. Because even those who seem to be perfect to others aim for more. When I was 15 and my body was growing into that body it is today and my hips got wider than the other girls hips the emotion that I most connected to my body was hate and shame. So before even being fully grown up you already start to tell youself you are not enough, not good enough, not beautiful enough and not thin enough. I was trying out diets and worked out like crazy, I ended up being the thinnest I’ve been for the last 8 years and did it make me happy? No it left me unsatisfied still thinking I’m not good enough. And guess what I didn’t have the queue of man that I expected to have now that I was thinner. I realized that I will never have a healthy relationship with someone if I dont fall in love with myself first.
It’s important to see which people lift you up and give you strength and which tear you down. It started with cutting a few unhealthy relationships and friendships out of my life, which is hard but you end up happier. The way to selflove took me a while and doubts find their way back every now an then. It’s ok to have those feelings, it’s ok to not always feel amazing!
I gained back 2 sizes and I struggled with it every now and then but in the end I also gained a lot of self confidence as I realized I’m so much more than my body,my size or my weight. I’m all of my choices,thee good and the bad. I’m the way I laugh about stuff. I’m strong and I’m the woman that i always dreamed of being. I realized I start to become the woman I needed when I was younger, the woman that should’ve told me that I’m beautiful no matter what. That’s when I decided to be that role model for other girls and started my IG account. It helped me a lot to virtually surround myself with women with the same bodytype and look at them appreciating their bodies. I started doing that and receiving all the love and positive feedback overwhelmed me. To be an inspiration to young girls and women my age is is something that I never thought I could ever be and it makes me happier then anything!